Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Miss Victoria.

The boob.
The tug.
The pouch.
The sack. 

Fu*k being a woman is hard. 

You probably have no idea what I am going on about right now but once you have finished reading this little beaut' you will know exactly what is going on. 

I would consider myself an observer. Some of the greatest people in my life are fellow observers. One of my guilty pleasures is people-watching. Who doesn't love a spot of people-watching? Observations are an inevitable side effect of such an activity. I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to people-watch in a fair few countries around the world. Fashion bounces up and down, we know this. However, what else bounces up and down? Trends and styles. And along with that, body types. I am not the first person to openly admit that the media distort our perceptions of real women

In fact, right at this very moment, a magazine with the Victoria's Secret models 'Shape-Up Secrets' lies next to me. Here is what I have learnt:

1. Only eat vegetables, fruits, seed and alkalized water.
Alkalised water? What on earth is alkalized water?
I'll stick to my tap thanks. 

2. For one month, only consume a 'green mash' of celery, cucumber, spinach and green apple.
Um, no. Since when has consuming food that looks regurgitated been delightful?

3. Spend all day skipping, boxing and running.
I would rather not. 

Right, so now we have decided that I lack all determination to become a Victoria's Secret model. I have also come to the conclusion that your life would be one run on the treadmill if you dedicated every day to maintaining such a figure. Life happens and I sure ain't going to be consuming regurgitated food with a skipping rope glued to my hand all day, every day.  


The boob.
The tug.
The pouch.
The sack.

Through my stellar observational skills, I have come to the conclusion that this is the inevitable development of the womanly figure. Preventable? Sure! Not with stupid diets and exercise regimes but with the simple skill of dressing to your shape (or Spanx). I personally feel that one of the big fashion problems that we face is woman who have no idea what looks good on them, so they dress to what Miss Victoria Secret wears - hence the development of all 4-key areas of the female body. We are trapped in a state of denial most of the time - and I am not afraid to admit it. What has created this? Online shopping. 
We choose clothing that looks stunning on Miss Victoria and boom, 5-10 working days later you are squeezing it over your bo0tay and curVes. 

Here's a little diagram to help you visualize what I am blabbering on about:

Basically, gravity f*cks us all. The moment we start realizing it, the moment the media accept it - we will all be better off. 
Once it becomes apparent that the bodycon dress does not suit every body shape, the prettier the world will become. 

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Thanks for commenting and thanks for reading!

Have a fabulous day :)

xo Christine